I recall now an incident before Christmas, which brought me up sharply to the realization of how much the modern instance of the realism of violence and blood-shed had seeped into my consciousness....
Watching the sunlight on distant smoke today—how far away and remote it seemed—
...suddenly a rich yellow light seemed to pour in the windows from all sides—the early afternoon sun had pierced the clouds for a moment—
Not that all yearnings for past Christmas joys were absent however. Every so often would come a pang of regret for the half-revealed memories of incidents that perhaps never existed.
Yes, I did get the rising of Sirius and Orion painted – As I suspected it would, it turned out differently than I had planned.
In just a short time, the earth’s shadow would start to creep over it, towards a total eclipse—But I was much too sleepy to stay up to see it.
I have looked into the eyes of a real woman who will be mine – Spring!
Reading in Moby-Dick on P. 586 – the description of the end of the day after a hard day of chasing whales. Must a man after all be a hard physical worker to enjoy the world? It would seem so — the only time that I ever felt anything like the magnificent feeling Melville gives expression to, was the evening of the day I rode from Cleveland to Salem on my wheel and sank down on a bank to rest at eventide — with the great blurred dapples above me. Another time too, was after working on the farm at Kenreich’s — a day of lading hay & riding to the barn on the rick. We men, who earn our daily bread by the sweat of our brains, do not live completely — only half of us lives, and therefore our impressions of things are apt to be circumspect and “nice.”
Working on some shelves for the children’s playroom – which I decorated with primitive designs, and on one side a panel of twelve pictures representing the months –
I do not know whether it is because I know the earth has commenced to swing back towards the sun, but today the brilliant watery sunshine seemed like a mid-winter spring – the earth is full of rumblings