My whole existence seems to stretch forth as one continual fight against myself. There seems never to be a point where I can say to my soul “I own you.” The universe becomes too complex.
*First crows / Out to the “Big Woods” painting altho a slight drizzle was falling – heard the first “Cawing” of crows at dawn.
My long pent-up longing to paint out in the woods made me anticipate the excursion with great joy – I sang as I drove southwards....
When I told Bertha about the idea back of my painting, she tried hard to see in it, what I had aimed at. But I think I arrived at another mood; a spiritual quality perhaps, but one only of deep mystery. There are moods that cannot be translated into visual art.
All day on the “Fading Winter Sun” (1917 36 x 48). The work did not go very well - all the time I felt that I was not calm enough in my mind for real concentration on such a work at this time and that I ought not be doing it; rather some mechanical work would be better.
here is the smell of earth in the air. I feel as if I must find an Hepatica somewhere. Lake beautiful - a wonderful luminous green in long stretching streaks uniting with the slate blue sky - a symphonic Poem of color against which play yellow-twigged willows, red bushes, and green cottonwoods.
Evening—B & I to chamber music concert at the Gallery. A fine program beautifully played—a trio of Mozart, Sonata (piano and violin) of Beethoven and a Trio (Opus 101) of Brahms.
Fighting a head-cold – tired &
Letter from Earl Seigfred with Invoice for a picture @ $1200 — to be chosen later – he wants to come up Feb. 26 or March 3
All the old desires are reborn tonight. The innocent desire of childhood for new spring flowers; the nomadic longings of adolescence; the desire for idyllic love that comes to youths, are all reborn and mingled with the more prosaic mundane longing of manhood, that is born of the old necessities of the earth.
A Spring Day. Late morning, sky clears & sun shines forth warmly. Easy wind from south. Sun shines unhampered all day. All the yearning of a March day is in today. I feel sure that cardinals are singing at home.
P.M. – water color of shadow of house & garage on snow – at the end, I realized I had overdone the shadow –