Paul Sharits (1943-1993)

Yellow

Long red, orange with flashes of blue and white

Scoring Declarative Mode

Last day in Charlottesville/ Oct 30, 1976

Grey day, mood is grey (but more even, less depressed and anxious than earlier in week, when each day was such a chore and most nights, insomnia). Pains (on skin and inside of left rib cage, all the way back through torso to the incision on my back) prevent me from feeling enthusiastic, prevent me from working as intensely as I would like…frustrating. Some work done though. I have felt afraid—vague-anxiety fears and the direct fear of the chest pain (should it still hurt so much?). I feel so fragile. Can’t bend easily. At least one bath and one shower each day and naps. I’m as happy here as I would be anywhere and so not look forward to leaving, except to visit with friends in NYC tomorrow (haven’t seen Thaedra since June—is she real?) Business with Joyce N. on Monday does not suit me—big decisions about which gallery to shoot at—but must be confronted soon. Then, from NYC onto Buffalo. I fear Buffalo will be, once again, overwhelming. $2,000 to Liz F. in Grand Larceny settlement on Weds (all my money gone now, all my savings). But look forward to seeing Bojana, helping her…for a change.