Paul Sharits (1943-1993)

Oct 31, 1976 Plane from Virginia to NYC

The Great Fear: Creative Death, Death of Spirit

Memories of Mother, her depressions(leading finally to her last suicide attempt: success), surrounded my consciousness, permeate my life. I’ve lived there seeing a person collapse and vegetate, over & over, “recovering” (after shock treatments and all) for ever more brief interims. It happens, it can happen—I’m always in the knowledge (if not the fear) of this… it could happen to me. For years I suffered various degrees of depression/ anxiety. The past few years have been better (although 2 years ago, this time of year on through the spring, I felt suicidal much of the time). Therapy and success in life-work, my divorce, growing older—these have helped lift me.