we need money badly – this last rankled because I feel that exhibitions are an evil, and that a real spiritual aristocrat naturally dreads putting before an  crude public his innermost thoughts and most exalted emotions.  All of these made the night sleep fitful and unpleasant.  Then in the morning as I went out to wait for the bus as the cool spicy breeze came up from the water reflecting the glaring white sun, a strange peace came over me; none of the problems were solved – when the day grew old they would come back again, but just then it seemed good to be alive.